Played

Guys are stupid. It's official. They do NOT realize what we can offer them. Personally, I give up. I am not going to try anymore. They can attempt to show me how they are worth my time and I will figure out if I WANT to spend my time with them. Thats what it is going to have to be. I am not one to play games. So I wont.

I was supposed to hang out with Sexi guy...I beat him in bowling so he wanted a rematch. Totally his idea, so we planned it for Saturday. He wanted to bet me a massage if he won and me a date if I won. I was down for it because I could go on another date with him because I KNEW I was going to win again. It was Saturday and I didn't hear from him for a day, so I texted him to see if plans were still on. No response. I waited and called him later at like 8. No answer. So then I called at 11 THAT night...and still no answer. So I said screw it. Wish I wouldn't have waited so long to find something else to do, but oh well. Still no call from him. And it was totally his idea for a rematch. UGh. whatever, if he had something else to do, he could've just told me or something! I would've been fine with that. FUCK GUYS!

Now...I am also pissed about another thing. I have this guy friend of mine. Well he used to be my friend. I am slightly pissed off at him because he thinks he can just be a MAJOR player of the game but he's not the best. At first I was like whatever because I didn't like his first baby moms. Then I got to talking to his new girlfriend and the mother of his baby son and I really meshed with her. We understood each other and was in the same boat. She is a real sweet girl. And after talking with her and what he's done to her. I didn't fine him attractive anymore at all. How could he do that to her? Well they got back together and I was happy for her because I knew thats what she really wanted. Well...he's just an ASS and she can do better for her and her son. He offically pissed me off today when I read her blog. UGH, I wish I fought because I would totally kick that bitches ass for you Melissa. She's fuckin nasty and everything you said about her. She doesn't get it. But karma comes back around to kick you in the ass so I hope she gets it 20x worse!!! You'll be okay. I promise. All the best ones get through it. She's just desperate and jealous cause she can't be a HOT MAMACITA like you!!! Haha I just had to vent because I was royally pissed off. Hope that baby boy of yours feels better. Call me whenever you need to vent or pour your heart out. I am here!!!

Enough for now. Quote of the day is....GUYS F'IN SUCK. SUCK A DICK BITCH!

Transferring colleges

Today I applied to transfer to Michigan State University. The counselor said I would not have a problem getting in because of my current GPA, but I had no idea I would have to write an admission essay. I suppose that is normal for any college. At least I have heard of it before. I am not the best writer so I had no idea what I was going to write about. There were three topics to choose from. I chose to talk about how my environment (family, school, work) has shaped me into the person and student that I am today. So here's my story...

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined”. Henry David Thoreau has inspired me to be the best that I want to be. I have always been a determined young lady and as I continue to grow into a mature woman I will always confidently look towards my successful future.

As a child, I did not have a difficult childhood; it was average. I lived with my parents in a country home with a pool and the vast wilderness behind us. I was seven when the big divide happened. My parents got a divorce but it did not affect my attitudes towards life. Even at a ripe young age, I excelled in school. I always had the great teacher recommendations and recognition as the “smart” one in the family. I was very successful in elementary school, so I assumed that high school would be a breeze. Is that enough confidence? I found myself being entered into the honors classes for every subject. I could handle it; I was strong willed. I had no idea I had a major factor about to take a dominant role in my life.

Breast cancer. I never knew those two little words could affect my life forever. At no time in my busy teenage life did I ever have the thought about a disease interrupting our lives. I was young and naïve. I looked up to my mother. She raised me and my brother alone. She was invincible: my hero. I knew she could overcome this.

As she grew sicker, she prepared us for the worst. She would talk to me about my future and my plans for life; what she hoped for me and expected of me. When you’re fifteen, you’re supposed to gossip about boys and best friends; not about your mothers impending death. Before she passed away, she was quoted in the newspaper of wanting a few things: 1) See her son graduate 2) See her daughter attend college 3) Have a grandchild.

She never got to have any of her wishes come true. Her wishes came true a little too late. I have a son and attending college full time. My mother encouraged me to pursue my goals and dreams. I know she is proud of my accomplishments. She was my rock and my survivor.

I am who I am because of my mother.

~*~*~*~*~

I am still at school so I don't have any pictures of me and my mother, but I will be adding a picture of us. For now, here is some memories of highschool!

This is me driving home from school after a Senior dress up day...I was Mimi

Me and Paola in Cooking class my Junior year. I miss her.

Kyni Rae and I in Mexico. I was 4 months pregnant! (senior year)

Josh, Me, and Amanda at Ichiban our Junior year. Mmmmm it was tasty!

Jessica, Dee, and myself in Myrtle Beach...summer before senior year

One of my Senior pictures...05 baby!

A Closer Walk

So today in my bioethics class we watched the movie A Closer Walk. I knew it was a documentary about HIV/AIDS so I decided to get an energy drink so I didn't fall asleep. (that tends to happen to me with documentaries!) I figured it was one of those boring statistical movies. So I went into this movie thinking "oh great...here we go"

I didn't take my eyes off the movie for a second. I strongly encourage everybody to watch the movie. Will Smith is the narrator along with Glenn Close. I nearly cried a couple times because in the video you get to see the lives of young people, old people, Africans, Russians, Americans...how EVERYBODY is affected by the AIDS epidemic.

Did you know that HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death in African Americans? Not murder or gang related deaths...HIV/AIDS which can be prevented with the right means...

If you would like to know more you can go to http://www.acloserwalk.org/ for more information. I strongly urge you to visit the website and check it out. Maybe even buy a movie...proceeds go to help AIDS research and victims!!! Thanks for listening!

words to live by

1) “You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.”

2) “Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex and minus reason.”

3) “Infantile love follows the principle: 'I love because I am loved.'Mature love follows the principle: 'I am loved because I love.'Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.'Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'”

4) “Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin – it is the triumphant twang of a bedspring.”

5) “So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend.”

6) “Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies.”

7) "To let a fool kiss you is stupid. To let a kiss fool you is worse."

I guess you could say that I was feeling sentimental at the moment and wanted to share some quotes that makes sense in more than one way. Love is a crazy thing and I always end up being hurt. Not this time...I will keep my head held high!

He is mi vida, mi alma, mi corazon...Regardless of who comes and goes, he's forever!!!

Holly's Wedding

So I have this friend Holly. I met her at work and we instantly connected. We always to the clubs together and partied at her house. She was always there for me and I was always there for her. So...when she called me and told me that she was getting married I was ecstatic for her. I don't see her too often because she doesn't work where I do anymore and she lives in Lakeview . We just have different schedules. She explained to me that they weren't going to have a big wedding at all and that she was only going to have a maid of honor and that was going to be her best friend from like 5th grade. No big deal, I didn't care. I just simply said that I wanted to go to the wedding. She said that it was only going to be family but since I was so close with her that I woudl be invited. Her wedding was scheduled for Valentine's day because her and her man met on Halloween, he proposed on Thanksgiving, so they continued to go with holidays and planned it for V-Day! So as it was approaching her big day I frequented her facebook. I kept seeing her status being changed and once it said "thanks to everyone who came to my bridal shower" Ummmm excuse me? I wasn't invited? WTF! I was pissed, so I commented on the status and said "I would've went but I wasn't invited" then I waited and waited for my invitation in the mail. Never showed up! So I was like okay maybe she's mad at me...so I wrote her on facebook asking her when the wedding was and all the info. She erased my message along with the one that said I was never invited to the bridal shower.

At this point, I was like okay...this is not cool. I never did anything wrong to her or her man, so whats the big deal. So I wrote her a couple hours ago in a personal note on facebook and asked her what the deal was...you know her response? My dad and step-mom were paying for the wedding and after what you did at my cousins wedding, they really didn't want to invite you, so they didn't. Sorry, but I had to respect their wishes. Okay, on the background note...her cousins wedding was 2 summers ago...I was young and got served at the bar. EVERYONE was getting hammered and so did I. I might have hit on her dad because NO JOKE he looks exactly like Keanu Reeves...maybe plus 7 years. But identical. So I understand a little bit but Holly's wedding and reception was going to be a dry reception. So that would've not been a problem. So it really hurt my feelings that they couldn't get over that. What? Did they think I was going to show up drunk? HA, no!!! So I cried. And now I feel depressed because I missed one of my really good friends wedding because I was retarded when I was younger and her parents couldn't get over it. Honestly I think it was the bitch of the mans wife because he was all blushing and giggly and stuff when I was tellin him he looked like Keanu. It wasn't like I was mackin on him, just paying him compliments. UGH I just don't know what to say anymore...I am all vented out! But it just sucks, ya know!?!?

My looooooong weekend

This weekend was like any other weekend, regardless of it being Valentine's Day. I went down to Grand Rapids like I always do when I get outta work. My sons father doesn't get outta work until 10...so I waited around at my cousins house for him to pick him up. We got ready because we were going to go hit up a few clubs. Well the BD didn't call until 11 and he said that he would be late. Jeeze! Thanks for letting me know. Not like I didn't notice you were late already! So he finally got there after 11:30 so we started out journey into the night!


Just a little beginning information: My cousin has been talking to this boy named DJ for a little while. About a 3 weeks now. Well for the super bowl, him and his friend, came over to hang out at my house and watch it. Everything was great. We had a good time.


Well the next weekend we were supposed to hang out with them...and they disappeared! So we went to Julians with my cousin ona's friends where I met a new hottie so i didn't care that the other boys ditched out on us!------->>>>> (Myron)


Well DJ ended up calling my cousin at 2 a.m. What a coincidence seeing how they probably went to Azucar's! (They always go there. Thats where they met) Anyway...so because Ona wanted to hang out with DJ we said bye to Mr. Hottie and met up with the other guys. Well they were on some confusing sh** so we told them to figure it out and we would meet them wherever they wanted to hang out. Well we didn't really know what was going on because DJ called and said that his friend just left him and he didn't really know what to do. So we said we would meet him on Alpine (minus friend). So we waited on Alpine for over a half hour at 3 in the morning! I had previously just worked for 12 hours straight, so I really was tired. We got sick of waiting around so Ona called her friends from Julians because Mr. Hottie stays in York Creek apts. We went there and hung out with them until the wee hours of the morning! ***eeek*** I was thrilled! haha

So the next day, Mr. Hottie called up my cousin (he didn't have my number yet) and asked if we wanted to go bowling. So of course we were more than willing to go! And we went. and I had the time of my life. I won of course! haha Mr. Hottie talked to me ALOT and I found out, not only is he Mr. Hottie, but he's Mr. SweetiePie too! A.K.A Myron!!! So needless to say, DJ called my cousin and said he wanted to go bowling with us, but he never showed. I told her to forget him. and she did for about 5 hours! either that or she just didn't mention him to me! So after bowling got out at 2, we went back to Myron's house and me and him sat up talking, literally talking, until 6 a.m. We fell asleep on the couch all cuddled up (awwww) and then when I woke up to birds chirping, I woke up Ona and we went back to her house. She called DJ left some messages on his phone and then he called back and said he was sorry and he would come over that day to make it up to her...NEVER SHOWED! So at this time he has ditched out on her 4 times in 3 days! So I was like please never talk to him again. And she didn't........................for a week! haha


So now I am back to the next weekend. Sorry it took me so long, but this blog was supposed to be about me on valentine's day but it turned out to be Ona and the stupid guy she is "in like" with! So we got to the point where BD didn't pick him up til late. Well so Ona did what she always does and caves in and calls DJ. He says he's at the Galewood club and for us to go there. Well we didn't want to go to Galewood because we knew it was 21+ and Ona is only 18. But we had to pick up our friend Courtney and she lives right by Galewood so Ona just browsed the parking lot, and no DJ's car! haha what do ya know!?! he lied once again! So we were debating on going back to Julians' (last weekend was a blast in there) or going to Azucar. We decided to go to Azucar. We get in the parking lot and start walking towards the door and we see DJ's CAR! lol. Ona called DJ and asked him if he was still at Galewood (while staring at his car) and he had the nerve to say Yes, he was still at Galewood! haha...he was busted! so we acted like nothin happened and went into the club. Granted the guy is not her man, but he still calls her and apologizes all the time and LIES about where he is at. He shouldn't have nothing to hide if he's not her man, right!? So we go to the bar and I get a drink and run into some friends that I haven't seen in YEARS from the Ski. I missed them. I run smack dab right into DJ! He looks at me and I didn't think he knew my cousin was there because he all was asking me a whole bunch of questions about myself and not her...Hah, not interested! But...that was my night. He basically ignored her all night and was an ass. I don't know why she puts up with him, but she does. I wouldn't but she's young and has to figure it out on her own I guess.



Now this leads me to Valentine's day...again, I am single and I couldn't tell you when I had a valentine's date. I don't think ever! Even with a boyfriend I never had anything spectacular happen. So I was hoping this would be the year... It wasn't! Haha, maybe next year. I just hung out with the cousin and thats about it. Hopefully everybody else enjoyed theres with their loved ones. I didn't even get to spend it with my baby boy. He was at the BD's house. :( But here is a recent pic of him and his momma before he left to his daddy's!!!

Call me New New

Okay, so here it goes:

1) I have no idea how often I would be able to check this, but I find myself to browse myspace and facebook all the time, so I should be able to update my life on here.
2) Sometimes I have nothing to say, but sometimes I have a lot to say. Just depends on what is going on in my life. Like probably anybody elses.
3) Today I have nothing really going on in my life. I do have some issues about my sons father that I would like to rant and rave about, but today I don't have the time because I am going to drop off my son to his father in less than an hr.

So...that's about it. I will try to update as much as possible. Probably on the weekends I won't be able to because normally I am at my Cousin's in GR and they don't have internet...but during the week...I will keep ALL updated. It should be a fun process! I need to learn a lot about blogging, but I am a fast learner! Yay for me! Yay for my son! Pictures uploaded soon!